Thoughts

This morning I read a guest blogger on the Real Live Preacher blog.  RLP wrote yesterday that Sarah Bickle was going to write a guest column, and provided some background.  Sarah Bickle's son  has a brain tumor.  Sarah has been writing a blog about the process since he was diagnosed.

But her blog isn't my topic today.  In her guest post today on RLP, she brings out some very good questions about God and grief.  As she says:

There is a secondary grief, however, that seems to flicker behind our saddest conversations. Questions like, “Why weren’t our prayers answered?” or “Why won’t God make Thomas better?” are unsaid but present.

Those are good questions, ones that theologians have been arguing over for hundreds of years. I don’t have any good answers, but I’ve had a lot of bad ones suggested to me since Thomas became ill. There are a couple theories that I pretty sure are bull-oney:

The bull-oney theories she has experienced are exactly that.  I don't think it's appropriate for me to repeat them.  Go read her guest piece on RLP.  After disposing of them, she presents her own theory, and it is there that I find a connection.

So this is my theory: Death is a mystery. Even for those who believe we’ll meet again in the sky, suffering and death are scary and sad. A thousand years may be a day for God; but for you and me, the space between the difficult now and the glorious hereafter is an awfully long time.

Interestingly, my bravest friends, be they Christian pastors or confirmed heathens, have tended to explain the least. Instead, they have quietly anointed us with their kindnesses. They have prepared meals for us in the presence of our bitter enemy. They are holding our hands as we walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

Christian or heathen, believer, atheist, or agnostic - there is no separation.  The humanity of each, being available and quietly walking alongside are exactly what is needed.  Mystery and suffering are best faced with friends.

I do not want an arbitrary god who answers some prayers and not others.  Or, one who permits suffering because it is supposed to teach a lesson.  I cannot accept a random god.  But god doesn't have to exist for people to be humane.  There's sufficient reason to be kind without believing that one builds credit in heaven.   The heathen that walks alongside is enough for me.

Tumors and death are a mystery.  Tumors are better solved by science than religion.  The mystery of death can only be postponed.  Searching for answers to the mysteries of life, including death, is a part of being human, and assisting others in their search is another part.  It seems to me that Sarah understands, and has the support of Christian and confirmed heather to help her.  And the best thing those who cling to one of the three theories she recognizes, and names, as bull-oney can do is to step back and examine their concept of God.

Comments

[Felix Grant]

Amen - to your last paragraph in particular.

And as one of the "heathen", I welcome with open heart the believer who walks beside me in this spirit.