The past two blog posts have been quick, written quickly with minimal concern for form or content. Yesterday's "Even Shorter and Quicker" was a bad example. This morning, I have time to sit and let the fingers ramble and go where they will.
The post on Socialism sits in my Draft folder, unattended. I've put it in the back of my mind, trying to let a connection bubble up. I really hope a word rises, or perhaps I can coin one, that doesn't have the baggage socialism carries and that describes a system characterized by honesty and equality and lack of coercion, and recognition that without these there is little hope that violence will cease to be the most used tool of society. It's not likely that such a word will come, and the "social democrat" phrase currently being used will be my only alternative.
I don't often begin writing an article without an objective in mind, and Socialism began with one. But I've reached a point in which either the part already written needs extensive revision or I need to examine, rearrange, revise, or junk certain ideas I began with. Another option is to just forget it, delete the draft altogether, and pretend that it never happened. Until I make a decision, or the soup bubbles and a new set of objectives rise, the draft sits there.
On a lighter note; someone gave me a Left-Hander's Calendar for Christmas. It's one that sits upright on the desk and you're supposed to tear off a page every day. Invariably, I let the days slip by, and then tear off a week or ten days at a time, one page at a time. There are little statements about being left-handed on each page, and a list of famous left-handed people with birthdays on the page's date. There are no famous left-handers born on April 30.
The statement for Friday, April 24, reads:
Less predictable, beginning with straying from the standard design in utero. I question that there is a "standard design", or how they know the left-hander's brains develop more freely, but I'll certainly agree that this left-hander is less predictable. I sometimes don't even know myself what I am doing, just did, or are about to do. More and more often after arriving in a room, I stand there for a long while asking myself "Now, why did I come in here?" Or, perhaps that's a part of approaching 70 rather than being left-handed.
I talked on the phone yesterday with a long standing friend. She's admittedly 77, but anyone who describes her as old just doesn't know her. I haven't seem Irma in a few years. She still lives in Maryland, and I've only seen her a few times since we moved to North Carolina. She asked me if I was still writing. I said yes, and then realized that she meant was I still writing poetry. Back then, late eighties and early nineties, I was writing poetry. I had to amend my affirmative answer and tell her I hadn't written a poem in years. She said that she always liked my poetry. Left unsaid was the regret that I wasn't still writing.
Irma was the lady that tacked the label "Renaissance Man" on me. While I've never felt comfortable with that label, I can, however, now admit that it felt very warm and comforting that someone thought I was. I was beginning a new marriage, working successfully in my career, gardening, baking, studying for my degree, quilting, writing poetry, and managing to be active in several parts of our church's life. I was Vice-Chair to Irma in a committee that met at least weekly, often more, for over 15 months. Irma was absolutely the best committee leader I've ever met. She used as guide a saying - If a meeting is less than 30 minutes, it isn't necessary, and if it's over two hours, it wasn't well organized. She stuck to that, and over those 15 months, we had exactly one meeting over 2 hours, and that was only 15 minutes over. She was a real pleasure to be with, and I value our friendship even though we don't see each other very often.
I don't do many of the activities in the list above, or at least not nearly as much. I've slowed physically and mentally. My interests have narrowed, and the time seems to slip by so quickly that there wouldn't be time to do them all even if I could. I still quilt, and hope to never give that up. Poetry is beyond me, and truthfully it was never quite within my reach. Irma was being kind.
Marrianna and I are having a major birthday celebration for me in May. It is going to be a party, catered, with a disk-jockey for music. Friends are coming from distances that humble me. I feel so fortunate to be where I am in this life-path. I enjoy what I am doing, and hope that through it others can receive a bit of pleasure also. I think I continue to learn, and hopefully expand my awareness of what is important.
I'm aware of all that I've done wrong, the hurt and pain I've caused, and carry that with me as I try to do better. At core, life has been good to me. Some time ago, my brother-in-law preached a sermon which he titled chopping wood. The title refers to someone who used cabins in the alps that are always available to hikers. They have firewood cut, ready for use. Bob uses them as metaphor that somebody else has chopped the wood. Now it is our time, those of us who have been fortunate enough to find the wood chopped, to chop some wood for those who come after us. I hope I can chop some wood, somehow.